The latest update on our life after the cult: we are still trying to clean up the financial mess. All the decisions made under the cult were not for our advantage but for the Pastor's. He is the one who benefited. Our money and labor went mostly unpaid or was in small amounts, or encouraged to be given back to the church or some church member who they favored as needing help. My husband didn't dare tell how we were living from credit card to credit card each month due to the raking over the co...

The latest update on our life after the cult: we are still trying to clean up the financial mess. All the decisions made under the cult were not for our advantage but for the Pastor's. He is the one who benefited. Our money and labor went mostly unpaid or was in small amounts, or encouraged to be given back to the church or some church member who they favored as needing help. My husband didn't dare tell how we were living from credit card to credit card each month due to the raking over the coals he would get from the pulpit. And not just once but many times over the months and years were we reminded how we failed to live up to God's standard.

I'm so glad to finally get back the belief that Christ paid for my sins, now and forever. I am his child. He watches over me. He leads me into paths of righteousness for His name's sake. No matter what situation I am in, God is there. He brought us through to the other side of that church of abuse and suffering. I am a changed woman, better for the experience. I would not want to repeat it, but I am grateful for the opportunity to learn lessons I would never have learned otherwise.

Keep the faith.

Karen

Hi Ya’ll,

I know it’s been a while. My life has been in quite a turmoil. I’m trying to figure out who I am at 55 years old, realizing that I have allowed myself to be led into a life not of my choosing. For instance, I loved drawing as a kid. My Mom had me take a correspondence course, which I did without much joy. Then she encouraged strongly that I major in Commercial Art in college, because that’s where you can make money. I hated it and ended up dropping that major, shifting to art edu...

Hi Ya’ll,

I know it’s been a while. My life has been in quite a turmoil. I’m trying to figure out who I am at 55 years old, realizing that I have allowed myself to be led into a life not of my choosing. For instance, I loved drawing as a kid. My Mom had me take a correspondence course, which I did without much joy. Then she encouraged strongly that I major in Commercial Art in college, because that’s where you can make money. I hated it and ended up dropping that major, shifting to art education and finally to early childhood education. I never wanted to teach. Isn’t that pretty awful? I just did all this to make my Mom think I was doing something worthwhile.

I’m sorry to say that when I married, I made similar mistakes. Yes, I did some things I liked, but still did things differently than I may have chosen just to be accepted and hopefully loved. I know this is an unusual post for me. I just needed to tell somebody. So, you readers are it. LOL

I’m now finally beginning to see that I am where I am because I never said ’STOP! I want to do this....’ Yes I rode horses ( the love of my life). Yes, I drew some. But, always there was someone I was trying to please. I felt I needed to be really good at something to be acceptable. No more!

I’m learning how to not feel guilty when I choose to stand firm for what I believe. I’m beginning to take more charge of my life. I am making choices based on what I feel is the right thing to do and not what I’m given permission to do, or persuaded to do by manipulating me to feel guilty. I realize it isn’t the other person’s fault as much as my own. I let myself be manipulated. I could have chosen to be strong in myself to do what I felt was right.

On a good note: My oldest daughter had a baby girl. I’m a proud grandmother again. I hope to go see her soon and help out with her 2 boys and shopping, cooking, etc. They live about 6 1/2 hours away from us.

So, now you have it. The past few weeks I’ve been trying to figure what is important in my life, what makes me ME. In other words, who am I really? I may have only a few years or another 35 years to fulfill whatever it is I’m suppose to. If any of you believe in prayer, please pray. I have no means of making money that I can see. I don’t know if I should even be concerned about making money. My husband works, but we’ve had to declare bankruptcy due to many unfortunate events in our lives, one being my husband almost died in the hospital with something they never figured out. Another bank buster was Mountain Rock Church the church that turned out to be a cult. (See Join Us, the documentary)

That was also the experience that helped me to understand how I had given control over my life, even in lesser degrees, to others even before this church. Now I’m hyper sensitive to control issues. I also have a greater compassion and empathy for others now. Though it was an terrible experience that progressed with time to almost total mind control, I have come away a much stronger individual. It has taken 3 years for me to come to the point I am at now. I still cringe when I think about the cult for long, and I have what is called triggers. Triggers are things that cause you to feel as you did in the cult.

Well that’s enough for now. Sorry, if I got a little long winded.

Karen

My first post:

How My Family & I Joined A Church Cult!

My name is Karen. I was a member of a church cult for 6 years. Before joining this church, my family and I, my husband, myself and 2 sons, lived on about 3 acres, had 1 young horse, several dogs, cats and chickens.

We weren't well off financially, but we were paying the bills. Our relationship however, was another story. We barely got along and you could probably say we hated each other. We were so caught up in our fighting, I'm s...

My first post:

How My Family & I Joined A Church Cult!

My name is Karen. I was a member of a church cult for 6 years. Before joining this church, my family and I, my husband, myself and 2 sons, lived on about 3 acres, had 1 young horse, several dogs, cats and chickens.

We weren't well off financially, but we were paying the bills. Our relationship however, was another story. We barely got along and you could probably say we hated each other. We were so caught up in our fighting, I'm surprised our children aren't totally messed up.

So, when we met 'PASTOR', that's what his only follower called him, I for one was in need of help. I felt out of control, very emotional and that I couldn't keep going the way things were. In other words, I was a ripe plum to be picked by a sociopath, who knew how to manipulate and control people.

Oh, he didn't start out like a control freak. That took a little while. He had to convince us we were messed up and needed his guidance. Of course, that didn't take too very long in my case. I was thoroughly messed up in my own thinking. Nobody had to convince me of that. However, I was glad to have someone help me convince my husband that he was messed up. I thought that was a great thing. It was much later, that I found out how wrong I was!

We started church, going to the "PASTOR'S" house for Sunday service. He set up chairs in a row and a stand to preach from to make it all look correct and formal. After the service we would stay for lunch, which his wife always fixed with great ceremony. They appeared gracious and unselfish. After lunch, we'd stay and ask questions. I really wanted some help.

I had turned my life over to Jesus a couple of years earlier, but I had a horrible temper and was beginning to think demons were the cause. I had been reading a lot of charismatic books at the time. This "PASTOR" we were going to convinced us that demons were a very huge possibility. He talked about Christians being able to have demons. He told a lot of stories of his first hand experience with calling demons out of people, some being Christians.

Having the idea that I was a failure as a mother, wife and person in general, not to mention I was failing as a Christian, too, I believe I was susceptible to joining a church with 'all the answers'. Later, we learned that if they seem to have 'all the answers', they are probably a cult. This so called 'PASTOR' sounded good. He and his wife seemed caring and loving.
They appeared to love us and our children.

My husband was not convinced so easily. Too bad we weren't joined together as man and wife as we should have been. We were enemies. We didn't talk, we didn't listen to each other. I needed answers. This man promised answers.
Nobody could convince me to stay away. I jumped into this couple's web with both feet, hoping to become a better person. How wrong I was again!!!!

Karen

Questions for Karen?

Q:

Hello Karen, I lived two doors from you and watched you on a daily basis. Yes, I bought the..."PASTOR'S" (as you called him) house. Sorry to read of your misery as a person for so long a time. Actually the day I viewed the house with my realtor you and Kristi were cleaning Melz's sports car in the garage. Then you and other washed cars every Sunday before going to church. I would speak to one of you and you would always look down at the ground and seldom converse how sad you all were. It didn't take me long after buying his house and others to realize what he was up to while living at the Heritage. Several in the neighborhood have known for sometime what was going on with all of you under his so called church. My question to you is where is he now? I am sure he is off starting another construction crew with illegals and unknowing people who will follow him for personal reasons. Christians would very much like to stop this ongoing use of the Bible for nothing other than personal gain and human abuse. If you have knowledge of their whereabouts probably Europe at this point I and others would like to know where he is. As far as I am concerned Deborah is the strength that drives this force. Concerned Christian.

A:

We don't have knowledge of his whereabouts. We know where he was for quit a while. I don't think he's there anymore. We also would like to see that he or others didn't repeat this. Thank you for your caring interest. I would suggest next time you see someone in this situation to be read up on what it is like for those caught in it. There are many books that can guide you in how to help. I don't believe anyone can truly understand what went on without experiencing it. You can at least gain understanding to a point and someday maybe even save someone's life. As far as Deborah, she was brainwashed, too. But like you said, she had a choice. But do not be too harsh in your judgement of her. It is not an easy thing to leave a controlling, charismatic person. Marriages with abusive spouses undergo similar emotions and have a hard time leaving. Please remember this. Those of us who have left are getting our lives back little by little. I personally have gained much as well as lost much. I am no longer a proud, impatient person. I have gained a greater appreciation for God's forgiveness and watchful eye. I also, have a greater compassion for those in suffering, whatever the form. God is still great! God has not left us to survive on our own. He walks with us personally. Karen